The night before the sacrifice
by sopranish
Summary: Tomorrow the Gates of Hell will be closed. Castiel is the only one who knows how it will happen. So he uses his last night to give Dean something important, and give him a proper goodbye.


"Das Grab, so euch bestimmet ist... schließt die Hölle zu." ["The grave that is declared yours... closes the Gates of Hell."]  
_– Johannes-Passion [St. John Passion],_ J. S. Bach.

* * *

Castiel had thought long and hard about what he would say, what he would do, tonight. After their long fight to close the gates of Hell forever, they now knew the awful truth- that it had to be done from inside Hell itself. Now, he thought, he knew what he had to say to Dean, what he had to to do.

But suddenly Cas didn't know how to start, what to say. How to say goodbye to Dean, to comfort him, and to get to the fight before Dean could.

He had watched unseen as Dean and sent Sam off to get Kevin. Watched them know that, despite their plan, the most likely outcome was that one of them was not coming back. That the next could be their last sunrise together. No one but him should be the one to make that sacrifice. The Righteous Man, true to his name, would try if given the opportunity, of course. Castiel couldn't let that happen.

"So you really slumming it to fight Hell with us tomorrow?" Dean tried to smirk.

"Of course, Dean. I am with you."

"Thanks, Cas," Dean answered, his hand on Cas's shoulder.

Castiel looked at that warm hand and placed his own on Dean's shoulders as he responded, "No, Dean, thank you."

There was so much. In his mind, he'd imagined thanking Dean. Not just for his bravery and strength. But for teaching him, after so many billions of years, to be alive in an entirely new way. For being worth every sacrifice, and caring about him when he felt himself unworthy.

All he could say was, "Thank you, Dean, for everything. For… everything. Since the moment I found you in Hell. Thank you."

Castiel watched Dean staring at him, tears trying not to gather as he stared into the bright blue of fire and grace and, Castiel knew, sadness.

"I have something for you, Dean. Something I think you lost." Cas cleared his throat around the thick lump there. Taking a small step back, he lifted his hand. Sam's amulet, the one that had failed to find God, and that Dean had thrown away in when his brother betrayed him, hung on it's chain from his fist.

Taking pity on Dean's shocked expression, he went on, "I saved it until I knew you wouldn't let it go again. Dean, whatever happens tomorrow, you two are surely going to need each other more than ever afterward. So take this for luck tomorrow, and a reminder ever after."

Castiel reached over and very carefully put the chain around Dean's neck. Before he could move away, Dean's arms were around his neck in a vice grip of a hug. Castiel raised his arms to lock around Dean's back, sighing heavily. Dean turned his head slightly, kissing Cas on the cheek.

"Thank you," he whispered shakily.

Castiel pulled his face back just enough to look Dean in the eye, neither one letting go. And before he could stop himself, he was placing the lightest, gentlest kiss on Dean's lips. Dean went still, and embarrassed, Castiel started to pull away. But Dean wouldn't allow it. He held Cas's face in a grasp like steel as he crashed his mouth onto the angel's. Lips and tongue twining, hands grabbing at hair and pulling each other tighter, not letting a sliver of space between their bodies. Passion long held back overtook Castiel, and he found himself grateful to have a vessel that let him do this. He couldn't get close enough, couldn't get enough of Dean. And Dean clung to him.

Then he heard Dean's soul crying out in prayer. Maybe unintentionally. But Castiel realized Dean had started to put it together, because he was calling out to him _Cas, don't leave me. Don't you dare do something stupid, you idiot angel. Stay with me._

With a mighty effort, while Dean buried his face in his neck, kissing as he ran his hands up his back and sides, Castiel husked out,

"Dean, you and your brother have taught me so much about emotions. Especially love, of all kinds. And I know that I love you, Dean. You need to know that."

That was all he could say before Dean reclaimed his mouth with frenzy, and tears Castiel could taste running down to his lips.

Their kiss turned even more passionate, more frantic. Castiel could feel his grace start to glow around him, the very fire of his existence unable to contain itself. The hunter was clawing at him, his tongue tangling with Castiel's own within his mouth. Pressing every angle of their bodies into the other. And he heard Dean's prayer, _I'll take anything to keep you with me like this._

It was more than Castiel could take. He tried to pull away, to get free before he could be swayed. He managed to pull back just enough to lean his forehead against Dean's, both of them breathing hard.

As their breath mingled, neither could help a few more small kisses to the mouth still so close.

"Come, Dean," Castiel whispered, overwhelmed, "You should rest now."

"Cas…"

His eyes were too close to see clearly, but Cas felt Dean stiffen in fear. He gently held Dean's face between his hands as he kissed his cheeks, his eyes, and finally his forehead, failing then at holding back his own tears.

Slowly he managed to lead Dean to one of the beds. He settled himself sitting against the headboard, and settled Dean against his chest. He soothed him, stroking his back, his hair, his face. Dean kept touching the amulet, but kept a hold on Castiel. And just once whispered, "I love you so much," face pressed into Castiel's warm shoulder. Every now and then Dean would lean up and kiss him, softly or fiercely, or thumb away the occasional tear that still fell as Castiel smiled down at him.

His very soul clenched when, as he was finally falling asleep, Dean kept praying, _Castiel, stay with me. Stay._

Before dawn he would have to ignore that plea. But for now, for now he could stay with Dean. Comfort him. For now he could keep him safe, and warm, and loved, and keep him, eternally, far from Hell.

That had been the whole point, after all.


End file.
